end of week….?
school has been going by…
life has been passing me by…
i am doing alright in school - all projects b+, all written work a+, all computer work a+
but i’ve lost enthusiasm
drive
…
i’m consumed with aging at the moment
i’m not being very present
i think about my parents’ impending deaths, my dog’s…
how i’m already 1/2 way done
instead of enjoying what i have now
what i can do now
my perceptions need to shift
…
it’s all so matter of fact
everyone dies
that is the end of it
we live this weird existence for only a short period of time
some of us suffer far too long during that time
some of us never fit in
some of us are just putting in time until it’s over
…
i’ve been stressed working in groups at school
i am very demanding, exacting…
i would say 95% of students are not that inclined
things just get done, doesn’t really matter how
i suppose that is why i do well on my projects
i will not hand something in that looks terrible…or is put together incorrectly…or is not the correct dimensions
it’s interesting to be asked for my opinion .. but because i am outnumbered, it doesn’t matter anyway
i wouldn’t mind so much if the group i was in were highly capable and worked hard
difficult for me
i think we’ve finished with those for now, though
thank goodness
…
i’m trying to figure out my 3rd year of school
i want to have 10 days of teaching - so i can still have a year of service
i want to have my placement overseas? or elsewhere - so i don’t want to come back at the end of april
i’d like to start teaching at the beginning of the school year for 10 days…then take the rest of the year off
that would mean missing 7 days of college
sometimes you have to do what you have to do
…
today i woke up after 8+ hours sleep…still tired
i don’t know why i am so drained
i have so much to do for school…
and little time to complete it
juggle juggle juggle
…
i go to supply teach this afternoon
in a way i wish i did more of that during the school year
but…realistically…i know i couldn’t manage that, too
i can’t do it all, they say
i will get ill
the money would have been nice
…
i may have to move
money is getting too scarce
that saddens me
change is sometimes hard
xo4now
| epiphanies, me me me!, school | 4 comments
| 
Merci Mamselle pour tes souhaits d ‘ anniversaire .Cela m ‘ a fait plaisir . Sur facebook je ne peux pas travailler car je passe déjà trop de temps sur Xanga qui me semble plus intéressant que Facebook . Xanga est un vrai blog .
Je vois que tu es un peu triste . Il ne faut pas . N ‘ as -tu pas eu de bons résultats à l ‘ école ?
La vie ? Il faut la prendre à plein bras et faire ce qui est à faire chaque jour .
Un proverbe français dit ” A chaque jour suffit sa peine ”
Amitié à toi
Michel
ps : Janine va bien . La cicatrisation est en bonne voie .
à chaque jour suffit sa peine
un jour je veux du bonheur, donc
xo
ça me plaît que janine va bien
Mamselle, You sound so down. If you only realized that you are such an inspiration to so many. It’s a tough time to be sure, but you’ve always been so resilient. Hang in there!!
thank you, sandy…
life just seems to be overwhelming me at the moment…
i tried to change some things
some had good outcomes, others not so good
always a struggle for me when things don’t turn out so well
xo